Monday, March 11, 2013

Top 5 Banana Songs

When one is elbow deep in banana guts, preparing to bake delightful Banana Flips, the jaunty tunes drift down to you through the years. Tunes laden heavily with the glory of that yellow skinned fruit of wonder.

For no other reason than I have had the banana boat song stuck in my head all day, I will now recant to you my 5 all time favorite banana songs.

5| The Chiquita Banana Song

That is one smoking hot banana!

4| Yes, We Have No Bananas!    -Spike Jones



3| Banana Man   -   Tally Hall

 Banana make you go mmm mmm mm mm!

2| Banana Phone   -   Raffi

This song has been my ringtone for the past decade.

1| Day-O (The Banana Boat Song)   -   Harry Belafonte

It was a tough call choosing between this video and the Belafonte Muppet appearance, but in the end, I couldn't resist the Beetlejuice allure.

Banana Flips

My mother's birthday comes but once a year. As always, I asked her what kind of cake she wanted. I received an unorthodox cake request. Just to put things into perspective real quick, Last birthday she wanted
a toasted marshmallow chocolate cake:
Yeah, I know.

This year, her cravings took her back to a simpler era. A time of great changes and delectable snack cake accessibility. The 60's.

 The Banana Flip.

Many  snack cakes have come and gone, failing to stand the sugary test of time. But I have never before encountered such fervor for an extinct dessert item as I have when merely mentioning the infamous Nickles Banana Flip. For those not in the know, the Banana Flip was a simple banana flavored sponge cake, folded over like a taco and filled with banana cream.

View the beast in all it's glory:
These scrumptious yellow morsels petered out and vanished in the 70's never to be heard from again. Until my mother demanded that I extrapolate and rebuild the cakes sugary DNA like a snack cake alternate version of Jurassic Park.

I made a simple sponge cake batter and tossed in two mashed  'nanners. For good measure I also tossed in 1 tsp of banana flavoring because the  liquor store was closed. I would have preferred banana liqueur. If you know me, I firmly believe that the secret to baking is to drown everything in flavored liqueurs. Get people buzzed enough and hey! You are the best baker the world has ever known!

To emulate the taco structure of the little cakes, I spread a very thin later of the batter into the cute lil' 6 inch round pan. Think pancakes. After I smacked the cake out of the pan I simply folded it over carefully on a sheet of wax paper.

Next came the filling. I made a basic banana flavored buttercream frosting, and whipped the ever loving snot out of it.

Armed with with my good old piping bag, I fancily squirted the little cake tacos full of the heavenly goo,

This one was Mom's Banana cake taco, so I made it extra fancy and overflowing.

And thar she blows!


Banana Cake Taco:  (Because we can't officially call them flips!)

2 bananas (mashed like your childhood dreams)
1 cup flour
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 stick butter
3 Tbsp milk
1 Tsp banana flavour
1 Tsp vanilla flavour
1 Tsp baking powder
1 Tsp baking soda
peench of salt (a peench is my own personal measuring unit for a very stingy pinch)

Banana Creme Filling:
1 1/2 cup salted butter (12 Tbsp)
3 cups powdered sugar
4 Tbsp milk
1 Tsp vanilla flavour
1 Tsp Banana Flavour
Peench of salt


  Focus your chi and envision your spirit animal. Then, preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Grease a 6 inch round pan with butter and lightly coat in flour Mash up two bananas to a sticky, syrupy nectar.

In a large bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt. The butter should (always) be at room temperature. The butter is watching you! Mash it up with the banana goo and add it to the other ingredients.

 Mix in the eggs and flavourings. Beat it all together on a medium speed with either an electric mixer, or with your own brute strength (you tiger, you). Scoop a small amount of batter and spread a 1/4 inch layer into the 6 inch pan (One whopping spoonful). Bake for 10 minutes. Remove pan and invert it onto a sheet of wax paper or foil. Tap pan until the little sponge cake flops out decadently. Fold it over. Repeat process.

Makes 7-8 Cake Tacos

For the Filling,

Combine milk, butter, flavourings and salt in a mixing bowl. Beat frosting on highest speed for 5 minutes. Texture should be creamy, light and fluffy. Add an extra Tbsp of milk if it is too dry, or thick.

Pipe filling into cake tacos and enjoy!

 Oh, did I mention they were a HIT! Mom claimed they were as good as the original banana flip, if not better.

I imagine you can substitute the mashed bananas and banana extract for just about any other fruit your greedy, bacchanalian heart desires!

Friday, March 8, 2013

The Villain

There comes a time when every man
must set aside a cunning plan
and cultivate with wicked glee
a sordid plot so dastardly,
that not a hero in the land
could hope to have the upper hand
nor save the melancholy maid
from fiendish traps so cruelly laid

There comes a time one must devise
mischievous dealings fueled by lies
within a lair one must abide
in labyrinthine seclusion hide
and minions hire, kill, promote
a right hand man, who’s so cutthroat
his own sweet mother sick in bed
at your behest he’d bash her head

for every man there comes a day
when all that’s good and bright and gay
has caused something inside to snap
and tire of this happy crap
and wants to see the kingdom fall,
the hero slain, the princess bawl
to glorify a life of crime
and for this villain, now’s the time!